In Those 19 Years
by TheRealRoseWealsey
Summary: The war is over but it has left behind deep scars. Harry and everyone around him has to learn to live again.
1. Hidden Scars

**Disclaimer: **I do not own this world or anything in it. It all belongs to the wonderful author I can't name for some odd reason on this site. It's all J.K's

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Harry Potter was snoring loudly, he slept in what looked like a very uncomfortable position, as though he had fallen asleep sitting up against the wall and had since slid down considerably. His glasses had fallen off at some point during his decent and were now trapped precariously between the rickety camp bed and the wall, his wand was held loosely in his hand.

Harry grunted and slipped down the wall another inch. Just then a noise disturbed the quiet of the room and Harry jolted awake pointing his want at his assailant's face. "Harry stop!" Ginny jumped back shocked, "Harry it's me."

Harry blinked and saw Ginny's anxious and slightly blurry face looking down at him, She was wearing a dressing gown she hugged to herself, her hair was unkempt and there was sleep in her eyes as though she had just woken up. Harry dropped his wand immediately and red sparks flew out the end. He breathed deeply for a moment trying to calm himself down. "What... Ginny? What time is it? What's going on?"

Harry fumbled for his glasses, "Ginny what's going on?" He asked again as he checked his watch, 2:27. The middle of the night. "It's Hermione, I can't calm her down." Ginny whispered, switching on the light as she turned to leave the room. Harry covered his eyes with his hands trying to adjust to the sudden brightness. The room was cluttered with scattered clothes and stacks of books he and Ron were supposed to be studying over the Christmas holidays. As Harry shoved his glasses on and scrambled out of bed, he tripped over various items before stubbing his toe on the corner of a large volume; 'Vigilance: The Importance of Constant Alertness by Warwick Bowyer'.

Harry cursed loudly as he clambered after Ron who seemed remarkably alert. They sped down the stairs their footsteps pounding in Harry's ears and other noises crept into his head with each thud, noises of battle. He pushed them aside firmly running towards Ginny's room, stopping at the door. Hermione was sitting bolt upright in her bed, her back against the corner of the wall behind her. Beads of sweat were running down her face and she was tangled in the duvet rocking slightly, staring with wide frightened eyes at something Harry could not see.

Instead Harry saw Hermione barely conscious, held up by Bellatrix with a knife at her throat. He saw Hermione in the final battle, killing cruses barely missing her. He saw Hermione - No. He blinked hard and brought himself back to reality.

"Hermione, whats wrong? What happened?" Ron asked, walking over to her quickly and crouching down in front of her.

"I told her," said Hermione, "I told her we didn't steal it but she doesn't believe me."

"Who doesn't believe you?" asked Ginny kneeling down beside Ron, but Hermione did not reply.

"What happened this time?" Harry asked Ginny as he crossed the room towards them."I don't know." said Ginny, "I think she was having another nightmare. When I woke up, she was yelling about how she didn't take something? I'm not sure."

"Hermione don't worry. There's no one here to hurt you." said Ginny. Hermione suddenly grabbed her left forearm and screamed. Harry had heard that scream before. From the Malfoy's basement. It was a desperate, tortured scream. Ron recognise it to, he prised Hermione's hand off her arm took both of her hands firmly in his own. "It's ok Hermione. You're safe. She's gone now. It was just a dream." Ron soothed. Hermione closed her eyes and was silent for a moment. "Safe?" she whispered.

"Safe." Ron repeated, sitting next to her on her bed and wrapping his arms around her as she shook, breathing heavily, her head against his chest.

Harry turned around and saw Mr and Mrs Weasley and George at the door in their pyjamas, looking very tired, but not surprised. He shook his head at them slightly then turned back round to face Hermione who had started to cry.

"What's wrong Hermione?" Ginny asked after a few moments.

"I just want to go home." the tears engulfed her.


	2. Salt Stings

Disclaimer: Still not mine, this whole world came from the amazing brain of J.K

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Mrs Weasley beckoned Harry and Ginny out of the room "Lets give her some space." she told them gently, they looked back at Ron who nodded. They got to their feet and left the room following Mr and Mrs Weasley down the stairs. Harry heard the door on the other side of the landing close quietly concealing Bill's dark room, George had slipped back in almost unnoticed.

In the kitchen, Mr Weasley turned on a lamp which emitted a warm glow that seemed oddly out of place before taking his seat at the table with Harry and Ginny. They all accepted the mugs of tea Mrs Weasley handed them and sat in silence for a minute or two.

"It's getting much worse again, we need to book her another appointment with her healer. Thats the second time this has happened since she arrived." Mrs Weasley said as she paced around the kitchen. "She wont go." Harry muttered rubbing his chin. Mrs Weasley let out an exasperated noise and ran her hands through her hair, stopping behind her husband's chair, and made to speak. Before she got the chance however, Mr Weasley spoke, calmly but firmly. "I think we all know what the real problem is," he sighed, "I don't suppose Kingsley's new auror office have found her parents yet?"

"Last time I spoke to him he had a group of aurors following a new lead somewhere in Perth. Apparently there's a couple called Wendell and Monica Wilkins working as dentists there." Harry said, and the people around him looked slightly relieved. He himself wasn't feeling very positive about the whole situation, somewhere in the back of his head a nagging voice reminded him of one possible problem; Hermione's memory charms were notoriously powerful. He couldn't let himself think like that though, the war was over. Hermione was going to get her parents back because after everything she had been through, she deserved it.

"I just don't understand, Hermione was always the one who kept everything together." Ginny spoke to her mug of tea as she chipped at the paint on the rim.

"Maybe it has something to do with the scar on her arm?" Mr Weasley suggested knowingly watching Harry and Ginny closely as they exchanged a dark glance.

They didn't realise Mr Weasley had ever seen the scar, he had never mentioned it before and Hermione kept it well hidden. But he and Mrs Weasley both knew that something had happened to her before they arrived at Shell Cottage all those months ago. Maybe Bill or Fleur had told him after Harry, Ron and Hermione had left.

"Well I'll get her an appointment at St. Mungo's tomorrow, we can't send her back of to Hogwarts in this state. Honestly I don't see why McGonagall didn't send her back here, she shouldn't be in school." Said Mrs Weasley

"They tried." Ginny told her, "She refused, said she had all ready missed a year of school and wasn't going to miss any more." That sounded more like the Hermione they all knew. Mrs Weasley made a disapproving sound but didn't press the subject any further. She had tried her best to stop Hermione going back to Hogwarts, and worried about her constantly ever since she did. She even visited her and Ginny every weekend and took food parcels to make sure they were eating enough for the first two months.

"I'll be booking appointments for you lot too." she said after a brief silence.

"What?" asked Ginny, sounding almost outraged.

"I had a letter from St. Mungo's last week, they wanted to know why you had missed so many of your appointments." Said Mrs Weasley with a knowing look at both Harry and Ginny in turn, "Well you better go back to bed, It's late. We can get the christmas decorations out of the shed later to put up on Christmas Eve, that might cheer everyone up a bit." Mrs Weasley ended the conversation with a forced smile, kissed Ginny on the forehead and watched them retreat back up the stairs, her eyes lingering on Harry's back.

Harry and Ginny paused outside her room, they could hear Ron talking quietly to Hermione inside. "Can I come up to your room? I don't think I should go back in yet." asked Ginny. "Sure, I wouldn't have been able to get back to sleep anyway." They climbed the stairs without speaking, past the closed door of Bill's room where George had been sleeping ever since he moved back to the Burrow, and sat down on Harry's camp bed with their backs against the wall.

"Don't you hate sleeping on a camp bed?" Ginny asked, wiggling on the bed as it screeched under her weight. "Yeah," Harry laughed, "I think I've had enough of anything camping related to last a lifetime."

"Sorry for waking you both up like that." Said Ginny.

"It's fine, I don't think Ron was asleep anyway. And I'm sorry for almost attacking you." Ginny laughed and shook her head. "Your Mum knows everything doesn't she?"

"Oh Harry," Ginny sighed, "It was always going to come out" she gave him a sympathetic smile "It's nothing to be ashamed of Harry, after everything you've been through-"

"After everything I've been through," Harry cut across, suddenly irritated, "I just want to get on with my life" Ginny closed her mouth and nodded, "Right, sorry."

"Are you ever going to tell me how that scar ended up on Hermione's arm?" she asked after a moment. Harry was silent, chewing the inside of his cheek and rubbing his chin in an attempt to calm down and trying to think of the best way to reply. He wanted to tell Ginny, but couldn't explain the scar without telling the whole story and he didn't think he was quite ready to relive it all yet.

Ginny sighed, "You know, it might help if you actually talked about it, falling asleep sitting up isn't exactly a good sign. You don't have to tell me, but someone-"

"Why? Has Healer Audire stopped all of your nightmares Ginny?" Harry's voiced was harsh and Ginny didn't miss the sarcasm. "Sorry." Harry said a second later, "I'm just tired."

Ginny nodded. "I can't believe Mum thinks Christmas decorations will help. We all know this is going to be a lousy Christmas." She said bitterly looking down at her hands laced in her lap.

"I'm sorry." Harry said quietly.

Ginny shook her self and wiped her cheek with her fist quickly. "Not your fault."

"Percy and Audrey arrive tomorrow, it's so weird to think Percy got married."

"Yeah."

The conversation died out and they sat in silence. After a while Ginny stood up and clambered into Ron's bed. "We might as well pretend to sleep, incase Mum comes to check on us." she said through a yawn and Harry nodded. He removed his glasses and lay down staring at the ceiling, doing his best to resist sleep as it tried to pull him under. But as the sound of Ginny's deep breathing filled the room and the door opened and closed quietly as Mrs Weasley checked on them, he felt his eye lids begin to close.

Then Harry was standing at the top at the staircase in Number 4 Privet Drive holding a note from Dumbledore telling him he would be coming round that evening to collect him and escort him to the Burrow for the remainder of his summer holidays. Harry looked up as Uncle Vernon opened the front door and Dumbledore walked in, _"Judging by your look of stunned disbelief, Harry did not warn you that I was coming,"_ His voice seemed to echo and Harry knew he had heard him say that before, _"However, let us assume that you have invited me warmly into your house. It is unwise to linger overlong on doorsteps in these troubled times."_ Uncle Vernon closed the door behind him still looking shocked, and slightly angry. Dumbledore tipped his hat in the direction of the kitchen door, _"Ah, and this must be Petunia."_

Harry walked down the stairs so that he could see into the kitchen, and the door suddenly swung open, revealing not Petunia but Mad-Eye Moody and he hit his staff against the floor bellowing, "Hurry up boy, we haven't got all day!" Harry ran down the last few steps and along the corridor towards Moody, but as he ran the corridor changed and he was in Grimmauld Place. The portrait of Mrs. Black was screaming, "Murderer! Murder! Murderer in the Nobel House of Black!" and at the end of the corridor, Harry was running towards Sirius who seemed to be getting further away "You're not like your father at all, James would never have let so many innocent people die." He said before turning round and disappearing.

Then Harry stood in the Great Hall and it had been torn apart, light was flashing all around him as people battled. And Harry looked down and he saw Fred, then Lupin and Tonks, then Colin Creevy who was so tiny, and Lavender Brown and Dobby and Snape all lying there on stretchers. Dead.

Harry screamed and it mingled with the scream from his mother, and looked up to see Voldemort's red eyes glaring into his own. There was a flash of bright green light, and Harry sat up in his bed, sweat drenching his face and chest. Harry gasped for air for a few moments as he tried to control is breathing and suppress the need to retch and vomit that was building in his chest. "It was just a dream." he told himself firmly as he pushed his glasses back on. Harry looked around the room, Ron's bed was empty and neatly made up. He looked out the window and saw it was snowing lightly, the sun was only just starting to come up. He checked his watch, it was half past eight.

Resigned to the fact he would be going yet another day on insufficient sleep, Harry got out of bed and grabbed his towel, leaving the room for a shower.

When Harry arrived in the kitchen half an hour later he found Ron and Ginny at the table looking as exhausted as he felt. Mr Weasley had already left for work and George, as usual, was absent.

"Hermione's asleep." Ron said, piling bacon onto his plate. Harry nodded and sat down, filling his bowl with porridge. They chatted as they ate, about nothing in particular; How Ginny was finding school, how Hogwarts had changed, about the boy's Auror training programme. Anything to fill the dead silence of the house.

"Angelina will be round soon, trying to get George out of bed. Again." said Ron. The other two just nodded, they had reached an unwanted topic.

"We need to go to Diagon Alley today, Mum left us a list of jobs to do." Ron tried again. Good, Diagon Alley, a safe topic.

As they finished eating, Mrs Weasley entered from the living room. "Right, Hermione has an appointment at 1 o'clock, you could all take her then Ron can bring her back here afterwards and you two can go to Diagon Alley for me. I couldn't get you lot appointments until after Christmas, but I'll make sure you don't miss them. Oh this would be so much easier if they could only find her parents, poor girl." Said Mrs Weasley briskly and they all nodded at her orders, handing Ginny the shopping list. "Arthur said he would try and get hold of Kingsley at work today. He better be back at a reasonable time, I know they've still got a lot on, but it is almost Christmas." They all watched Mrs Weasley fussing round the kitchen, keeping herself busy, before getting to their feet. "Once your dressed, I need all of your help to get the house ready, Percy and Audrey get here this evening and everyone else will be arriving the day after tomorrow. You'll have to go into the village, to get the food on the list Ginny dear. I'd do that this morning, you two can clean out the chicken coup and the garden needs degnoming again."

Mrs Weasley set them all to work doing jobs. She was always keeping them busy. Harry suspected it was to try and keep their minds off 'other things'. That was Mrs Weasley's way of coping. But it worked for her and none of them wanted to start an argument. At least it got them all out of the gloomy house.

As Harry was filling the chicken coup with fresh straw, he saw Angelina walking down the snow covered track towards the house. She had visited the house at the same time every day to see George and try and drag him out of his bed. She managed to get him to join them all for lunch a week ago.

"Hi Harry." she said briskly as she approached him. She had an extremely determined expression. "Hi Angelina, are you coming round for Christmas on Friday?"

"Mum's making me stay until Christmas dinner, but I'll be round in the evening and I expect to see George downstairs wearing a christmas hat."

"That sound a bit optimistic." Angelina laughed and waved back at him as she continued towards the house.

After cleaning out the coup, Harry made up all the beds with Ron for everyone arriving at the Burrow that night then peeled potatoes for tea, and once Ginny returned from the shop, they degnomed the garden together. Hermione had been ordered by Mrs Weasley to stay in bed. As the last gnome was flung over the hedge, Harry bent over clutching a stitch in his side and gasping for breath. They were all covered in sweat, the freezing weather doing nothing to cool them down.

"We better stop now if we want to get to St Mungo's in time." Said Ginny

"I call first shower." Shouted Ron, and before the other two had the chance to stop him, he ran back into the house.

At half past twelve, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny gathered round the fire place now all showered and changed into clean clothing, complete with hats, scarves and gloves. "Cant have you catching a cold." Mrs Weasley had fussed as she forced a wooly hat onto Ron's protesting head. They took a handful of floo powder each from the pot on the mantle piece before dropping it into the grate in turn and shouting "St Mungo's" as the disappeared into the green flames. The waiting room was just as it had been when they visited Mr Weasley in their Christmas Holidays; thoroughly overcrowded and poorly decorated. Harry pushed his way towards the queue at the front desk, doing his best to keep his face hidden. He stood for what felt like hours when he finally reached the front of the line. "Oh My God! It's 'Arry Potter!" screeched the young woman from behind the desk, her hands flying up to cover her mouth in shock revealing garish bright red talons on all ten fingers, and Harry was thankful for all the noise in the waiting room because no one looked round. "Yeah, there's an appointment for Hermione Granger at one." he said tersely. "Right, well thats on the fourth floor, spell damage, Bryn Parry Ward Healer Foster." Harry nodded and returned to the group, "Your appointment is in the Bryn Parry Ward, with Healer Foster just like normal. Do you wan't us all to come with you?" Harry asked, Hermione looked very pale and she shook her head. "No, just Ginny."

"Ok we'll wait here for you." Ginny linked arms with her and Harry and Ron sat down as the girls disappeared into the crowd, hiding their faces slightly with their hands in an attempt not to be recognised.

"Ginny never goes in with her. Why did she want Ginny to go with her and not me?" Ron asked looking slightly peeved.

"I don't know, they're really close I mean they've always shared a room at the Burrow and I guess they spend a lot more time together at school now it's just them? They're both girls?" Suggested Harry. He was finding it hard to focus on what Ron was saying, the sheer number of people in the waiting room was making him nervous. He ran through the list of defensive spells in his mind and tried to calm his breathing down.

"Yeah I guess, but.."

"What? Are you guys together now?" Harry asked, momentarily distracted.

"Well not exactly, I mean I thought we were at the end of the battle," began Ron and Harry nodded, remembering their public displays of affection in the room of requirement. "But since then, I don't think she's even let me hold her hand."

"Sounds like she's gone off you mate."

"It's not funny Harry."

"No, I know, sorry. I'm sure she still likes you, I guess we'll just have to wait and find out what's going on."

"Yeah, I guess." Ron frowned, "What's going on with you and Ginny anyway? Nothing better have happened in my room last night."

"Absolutely nothing." said Harry "She's been sort of, distant ever since summer?" Harry sighed

"She's not the only one." Ron said looking sideways at Harry. "Have you told her about everything we did yet?"

"No." The anger that churned inside Harry like lava in a volcano started to simmer at Ron's accusation. Did he say Harry was distant?

"I think you should." Said Ron and Harry looked at him, nodding slightly to himself.

"Why is everything so complicated?"

"I have no idea."

Harry watched as a steady stream of people arrived through the glass. A young man arrived bent double in stitches of laughter as a woman, who Harry assumed was the man's girlfriend or wife, pushed him through the crowd, a gigantic elephant trunk sprouting from her face. She was bright red and seemed to be yelling abuse at her significant other. A man who was emitting an extremely high pitched siren noise whenever he opened his mouth was trying to push to the front or the queue at the desk. There was a young girl in a christmas cracker hat who seemed to be covered in dragon pox scars, playing with her siblings. In the chair opposite Harry, an elderly man had dozed off and seemed to be making noises like a sheep as he snored and the woman next to him looked like a cross between a human and an extravagantly decorated christmas tree.

After about an hour Ginny and Hermione made their way back to the boys who stretched and yawned as they got to their feet.

"Can we go back to the Burrow now? I don't want to talk about it." asked Hermione quickly before Ron had the chance to say anything. "Uh, sure. We'll see you two later." He said to Harry and Ginny as he walked away with Hermione.

"How was it?" Harry asked when the other two were out of sight, Ginny looked slightly sick.

"I'll let her tell you, she didn't want me to say. But I know how she got that scar now." Said Ginny, Harry cursed inwardly, "Right." He wondered how much she knew, Ron was right, he should have told her everything ages ago.

"Well we better get to Diagon Alley, your mum left us a long list."

When they reached to door of the Leakey Cauldron shivering slightly in the cold, Harry stopped. "Do you think we should put the cloak on? It'll be packed in there." Ginny smiled at him, "Harry it'll make shopping quite hard if we're invisible, you made it through St Mungo's, we don't have to stop and chat to anyone. Come on." She opened the door and they stepped into the warmth, wiping the snow of their shoes on the mat. The pub was crowded with Witches and Wizards doing last minute Christmas shopping and Tom the bartender was happily serving his regulars at the bar. The last time they had been in the Leakey Cauldron it had been deserted. Harry and Ginny had made it halfway through the busy pub when they heard someone call "Harry Potter?!" They froze for a moment as the name travelled throughout the room. Ginny was about to turn around as a cloak was flung over her head, "Walk, quickly, come on." whispered Harry. They continued walking in between the tables as people continued to look around muttering Harry's name.

"Sorry, I forgot what it was like." sighed Ginny as she shrugged the cloak of in the backyard in front of the brick wall. "At least we made it through alive." Replied Harry before taking out his wand and tapping a brick, revealing the hidden street to them.

Harry's eyes travelled up and down the street that had been his first real taste of the magical world as they stood frozen. at the entrance "Wow." said Ginny quietly, Harry nodded slowly and stepped forwards. Without the fairy lights and the bunting and everything else that had been set up for the presentation of the Medals for Bravery in the summer the last time they had been there, Diagon Alley looked very different. Although it was a bright, crisp day and a thin layer of snow lay on top of everything, the street seemed dull and grey. Sugarplums Sweetshop was deserted and the windows of Gambol and Japes joke shop were still boarded over. Most of the other shops were open for business but repairs still seemed to be going on up and down the street. There were wizards working on the roof of Potage's cauldron shop. The continued down the empty street. Eyelop's Owl Emporium was open, but Harry didn't think he had ever seen it with less owls. Quality Quidditch Supplies was restocking and the front of Wiseacre's Wizarding Equipment looked like it had been patched together in a hurry, the door hanging pathetically from a single hinge. To Harry amazement, a group of builders stood outside Ollivander's, painting the window frames and the sign above the door with their wands, Ollivander himself was stacking the empty shelves, his eyes still sunken but healthier than he had looked last time they had met.

"Why has it taken so long to get everything fixed?" Harry asked Ginny.

"I think most people were scared to go back into business at first. And I guess not all the shops had owners until recently."

Harry looked past the Apothecary, Flourish and Blotts, Slug and Jigger's and the Magical Menagerie, they walked quickly past Weasley's Wizard Wheezes not daring to stop and take in the boarded up windows, up to Gringotts Wizarding Bank.

Harry noticed the glass dome that was smashed by the dragon had been repaired, and was even more relieved to see the wizards that stood with their probity probes had vacated the entrance to the bank and been replaced by a pair of stern looking goblins. Harry and Ginny removed the invisibility cloak and walked up the front steps and under the arch bearing the warning Harry, Ron and Hermione had all ignored mere months ago;

_Enter, stranger, but take heed_

_Of what awaits the sin of greed,_

_For those who take, but do not earn,_

_Must pay most dearly in their turn,_

_So if you seek beneath our floor_

_A treasure that was never yours,_

_Thief, you have been warned, beware_

_Of finding more then treasure there._

As they walked up to the front desk, the goblins on either side glared at them making them cringe slightly. Ginny stepped up to the goblin behind the counter and coughed quietly,

"We came to withdraw money from both the Weasley and Potter vaults." The goblin looked up at the latter name and his eyes fell on Harry's scar.

"Does Mr Potter have is key? Or was he planning on plundering whatever takes his fancy?" asked the goblin.

Harry the anger inside him start to simmer again, "I have my key." He spat.

"Very well," he said grudgingly, "follow me."

Harry gritted his teeth throughout the break-neck journey. The feeling of being trapped underground in the dark was making him very uncomfortable. When they finally stopped outside Harry's vault and opened the door, Harry saw that the contents had been easily doubled since his last visit.

"Where'd all this come from?" he asked Ginny, shocked.

"You inherited the Black's family fortune from Sirius remember?" she said squeezing his arm and pushing him forward.

Harry filled his money bag haphazardly and rushed Ginny back into the cart, definitely feeling sick at this point. He kept his eyes closed until they had returned to the main building, practically gasping for fresh air.

"I still need to get Hermione's present, so lets head to Flourish and Blotts." said Ginny as they stepped back onto the snow covered street which was now blindingly bright after the dark underground vaults. If she had any idea how Harry was feeling she was ignoring it and he couldn't decide if it made him feel grateful or annoyed. She always had to cope with everything so well he though to himself as he watched her stride confidently in front of him, her red hair dancing behind her. Harry followed her to the shop looking round warily at everyone who passed them. In the shop they wandered down the rows of books, not really sure what they were looking for. It was quiet and warm in Flourish and Blotts and Harry thought he understood why Hermione's refuge had been the Library. When they reached the transfiguration section a book caught Harry's eye. He lifted it down from the shelf and flipped it over to read the back.

"Are you really thinking of doing it? Becoming an Animagus?" Ginny asked looking at the book in Harry's hand.

"Yes." said Harry firmly "But I think I'll do it legally."

Ginny nodded, "I expect Ron would do it with you if you asked."

"I all ready have."

"Oh." said Ginny sounding a little put out, she sighed then smiled at Harry and pushed past the rest of the transfiguration books stopping in front of a shelf full of colourfully bound novels. "Maybe I shouldn't get her a book, she's probably read them all."

"Probably." Harry laughed.

He paid for his book at the counter and followed Ginny out into the snow. "Where next?" he asked as Ginny checked her mother's list then looked up and down the street. "Lets go to the Apothecary." But they had barely taken ten steps in the direction of the shop, when all of a sudden, cameras flashes started going off around them people started calling out Harry's name. A pack of journalist seemed to appear out of nowhere and hounded the two of them with questions.

"Who's the lucky lady Harry?"

"How do you feel about managing to find love after everything you've been through?"

"Are the rumors true? Is she just a rebound after a failed romance with Ms Granger?"

"Doesn't young lady somewhat resembles your mother, do you not think that's slightly twisted?"

"No comment." Harry said calmly, his blood boiling as he grabbed Ginny's arm and pushed through crowd, inwardly cursing that they hadn't put the cloak back on after they left Gringotts. He pulled Ginny into the Apothecary and pushed the door shut firmly behind them.

"I'm so sorry ab-" Harry began slightly out of breath as Ginny wrenched her arm from his grip."I can handle myself Harry, you didn't have to drag me like a little kid." she pulled her hair away from her flushed face glaring at him.

"Ginny, what?" Harry stuttered, "I'm sorry, I just didn't want to loose you in the crowd." He was baffled by her sudden anger. Their was silence for a moment as their heavy breathing subsided, "Let's just get what's on the list." said Ginny walking away through the shop.

Harry didn't understand what had just happened, they had been ambushed by reporters and Harry had just tried to get them out safely, why was Ginny so angry? She had been angry at Harry a lot since the summer holidays and he didn't really know why.

Maybe Ron was right, he thought again, maybe he needed to tell her everything that had happened.

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**Authors Note: **It took me a long time to get back to writing this story and it has changed a lot in my head since I started it. Please let me know what you think. Reviews are always welcome! :D


	3. Cleaning Wounds

Disclaimer: This world is still not and will never belong to me.

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When Harry and Ginny returned from their shopping trip that evening it was in a stony silence, Ginny hung her coat on the peg by the door and disappeared swiftly into the living room where the rest of the family was gathered. Harry dumped the bags on the kitchen table and ran a hand through his hair, everything felt so wrong. He hated coming back to this house, a place that had always felt like home, that had always been so loud and busy but now seemed dead. He knew it was his fault. He was the reason their family had been torn apart. But he was so tired of the gut-wrenching guilt. He was just so tired.

Harry looked around the pristine kitchen that was supposed to be busy and cluttered, a result of Mrs Weasley's constant cleaning, and he wanted to scream.

A voice came suddenly from the doorway to the living room and Harry jumped out of his skin, grabbing his wand from his pocket and firing a spell without even looking, "Harry?" said Mrs Weasley again, looking shocked, she had blocked his jinx and stood with her wand out. Harry jumped again, seeing her this time and lowering his wand, "Sorry I didn't realise it was you." he apologised quietly.

"Harry, it's alright, don't worry," Said Mrs Weasley walking quickly towards him, her face softening. "Come here."

She pulled him into a hug he didn't feel he deserved, but he didn't resist.

"You know every morning I see you, and Hermione, and Ron and Ginny, I thank Merlin you're safe." she said pulling back to look at him, "War has away of living on after it's over. You feel like you'll never truly be safe again. You're still living in a nightmare because you've known nothing else for so long. But it's go to end sometime, life goes on Harry. Feeling guilty isn't going to bring them back. Not Fred, or Lupin or Tonks or anybody else." She took a deep breath that shuddered slightly as she looked at him. "What we've got to do now is remember them all how they were before the war, as the people we loved and who loved us, and live for them. Because that's what they'd want us to do. We owe it to them Harry. Your life is a gift, you should be living it." Mrs Weasley wiped a tear from Harry's cheek and squeezed his shoulders gently as she looked at him. "But until you're ready to do that, you're allowed to feel pain and grief, it's what makes you human."

Harry nodded numbly before Mrs Weasley hugged him again, Dumbledore had told him the same thing after Sirius had died, that feeling made him human. When Dumbledore said that, he didn't want to be human, he didn't want to live. But now, he'd survived the war, it was all over and he could see in some part of himself that he didn't want to die. He wanted a life.

"I'm sorry." Harry told Mrs Weasley quietly.

"Don't ever say that Harry." she said firmly, "what happened wasn't your fault, you did what you had to do. And nobody made him fight, it was his choice. And if he hadn't. If Fred hadn't died, somebody else would have. My boys are all so brave." she said proudly looking at him as though he were one of her boys too. "Sometimes I wish they weren't. But now all I can do is remember my son, who died fighting for something he believed in, and whose greatest joy came in making the people around him laugh." They both stood in silence for a minute before Mrs Weasley patted Harry's shoulders again. "Now. Percy and Audrey are through in the living room, but if you want you can take some dinner up to your room on a tray and have an early night. You'll see them tomorrow. Then I need to go and check on George"

Harry nodded, "Thanks Mrs Weasley."

"Call me Molly, dear." she said as she piled food onto two plates and handed one to Harry on a tray. "Sleep well."

Harry took the tray gratefully, he didn't think he could deal with Percy that evening, and walked towards the stairs. He looked back and saw Mrs Weasley still standing in the same spot, wiping the tears from her eyes for a moment before sniffing and turning to take the second tray up to her son. Up in Ron's room, Harry wolfed down his dinner, the warm food filling him up as though he it was the first time he had eaten in days. He changed into his pyjamas and lay in bed thinking over everything Mrs Weasley had said to him. He thought about the quiet house and how George never left his room and how Mrs Weasley seemed to do nothing but tidy and how Mr Weasley buried himself in his work. Mrs Weasley was right, he though, this isn't what Fred would have wanted at all.

"Mum's gonna kill you if you don't get up now, Kingsley'll be around in an hour" said Ron, early the next morning, chucking a pillow at Harry who rolled over with a grunt, and began searching for his glasses. It had been his first night of dreamless sleep and he didn't want it to end. "God, I do not want to see that house again, I though I'd left for good." Ron grimaced at him. "Don't worry about it mate, s'not like you're moving back in." Harry groaned and sat up. He wanted nothing less than to go back to Number 4 Privet Drive, he didn't want to know how much of a mess the house would be in, though he didn't really care about the possible state of Aunt Petunia's kitchen.

Harry showered and got dressed quickly, he walked downstairs and ate his breakfast alone in the empty kitchen, Mrs Weasley had gone out to feed the chickens and Ron had gone back to sleep. At ten o'clock precisely, Kingsley knocked on the front door and let himself in, "Morning Harry."

"Morning Kingsley, should we get going?" Kingsley nodded and Harry got to his feet, not wanting to spend any longer in Little Whinging than was necessary.

The two men walked up to the front gate after assuring Molly they would be perfectly safe. "When will the protection be taken off the Burrow?" Harry asked and Kingsley paused with a hand on the gate.

"As soon as iI can guarantee it's safe, once all the remaining Death Eaters are safely locked up. It seems many abandoned the fight when it became obvious they would loose. We think we've rounded them all up, but it's better to be on the safe side."

Harry nodded, "Right."

"After you." said Kingsley holding the gate open for Harry who walked through and disapparated with a pop.

They had arrived in an empty field, feeling it would be safer than risking appearing out of nowhere on a street full of the nosiest people known to wizardkind. "This way." said Harry, looking around and trying to remember where he was. It was extremely odd walking through a place he used to know so well. He had been attacked by dementors in this alley with Dudley, and there was his primary school, with the bins outside that he had once jumped over to end up on the roof. When they finally arrived on Privet Drive, Harry looked for Number 4, and found it standing looking almost exactly the same as it had the last time Harry saw it, it was slightly unnerving.

"Your Aunt and Uncle wont be impressed it took so long, but we had to rebuild it the 'muggle way', can't exactly explain how a house just reappears overnight."

Harry looked down the street almost amused at how it had remained stubbornly unchanged, when he noticed one of the neighbours watching him from their flower beds, she reminded Harry somewhat of his Aunt. They would have been around the same age and she was wearing a floral printed dress and a plain knitted cardigan, he wondered how it was possible for her to be so clean whilst gardening. "Aren't you supposed to have left?" the woman asked getting to her feet and pulling her gardening gloves off. Harry glanced over his shoulder at Kingsley, extremely grateful that he was skilled in dressing like a muggle. The woman came up to stand next to Kingsley, gazing distastefully at the plot. "They disappeared one day without a word." she said, addressing Kingsley instead of Harry. "I knew something was going on, funny lot in that house. Too normal if you know what I mean. And the wife was awfully nosy." Kingsley chuckled, "Oh?"

"Yes well, one day they just disappeared, and within a week the place was burnt to the ground. I woke up one day and looked out of my window and it was rubble. Gas leak they told us. It didn't half spoil my view, but they were an inconsiderate bunch." She seemed to be talking as though Harry wasn't there, but he didn't care. "Took us bloody months to get the council to clear it up, and then I had to put up with an endless stream of builders and scaffolding and all sorts " The woman shook her head and looked back at the house again sticking her nose up, "And now I have to mow the bloody grass too, no one else on the street was going to and it looked awful. I'd give them a piece of my mind if I saw them again, making me look bad they were. I live in a respectable street full of respectable people. At least, I do now."

"Well, we must be getting on now, thank you for your, insight. Good day." said Kingsley signalling for Harry to follow him. They waved and walked away. The woman didn't reply or return the gesture, merely crossed her arms and watched them leave, a haughty look on her face.

"Was it the Death Eaters?" Harry asked once they were around the corner,

"Definitely." replied Kingsley.

"Do they know their house was burn't down?"

"No." Kingsley replied.

"So what do we do know?"

When they were back in the field and sure they were out of sight of any passers by, Kingsley sent a patronus off into the sky.

"Were have to go and speak to them." said Kingsley.

_Great._ Harry though to himself.

* * *

"What the Bloody Hell do you mean my house was burnt down?!" Yelled Uncle Vernon, red in the face, a vain pulsing ferociously on the side of his head.

"Well, It was blown up by a group of Death Eaters," Harry began patronizingly "Then it fell down. Do you understand?"

"Don't you dare get smart with me Boy! You made us leave our home to spend a year stuck inside with those freaks out there," Uncle vernon gestured to the room Hestia and Dedalus were drinking tea in. They had returned to help the Dursleys move out, and looked thoroughly exhausted and slightly thinner then they had when Harry saw them last. "and now you tell me we can leave but we've got no where to go! You better have a bloody good explanation!"

"You do have somewhere to go, I told you, they rebuilt the house. That's why it's taken so long. I'm awfully sorry to inconvenience you, but you see, I was a bit busy defending both the world from an evil wizard who killed countless people. I think that at some point whilst I was busy taking part in the biggest war in wizarding history, I forgot to keep your lawn looking tidy."

Vernon huffed looking outraged. Petunia and Dudley were sitting silently in the corner, it seemed that one positive of it all was that Dudley had finally lost some weight. He was still by no means thin, but he now resembled a human more than a pig.

"You've got no idea what we've been through Boy! I had to let my assistant run my drilling business! My Assistant! That's my life work, what are you going to do about it?!"

"Nothing." said Harry, "Kingsley has offered to have people help you move back in." He badly wanted to be angry with his Uncle but he just couldn't be bothered. He would make sure they had a house and leave them to it. Frankly he found Vernon's selfishness almost comic.

"That's not the point. We deserve compensation!" Vernon sank into a chair breathing as though he had just run a marathon.

"I think Hestia and Dedalus deserve more compensation than the three of you put together. I'll go and get Kingsley and he can make arrangements with you." Harry left the room and entered the small kitchen next door. It was sparkling clean and well kept, of course, it would be with Aunt Petunia in the house. Though perhaps slightly dated with its orange lino floors and formica topped table. "Do you wan't to go speak to them Kingsley." Kingsley got to his feet and left the room patting Harry's shoulder with a small smirk as he went.

"You did it then!" squeaked Dedalus Diggle, pouring Harry a cup of tea and inviting Harry to sit with them at a table. "Kingsley was telling us all about the battle, I'm just sorry I missed it!" Harry smiled, not completely sure how to reply.

"Thank you, both of you for doing this. I'm sorry it took so long." Hestia chuckled dryly at Harry's comment.

"Yes, well it's the last time I sign up to protect anyone, no matter who they're related to. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you when you told us how hard it would be." Harry gave a wry laugh.

"Enough about all that," said Dedalus, still unnaturally happy, "Tell us what went on last year." Harry gulped down his tea, he knew he didn't have much choice but he wasn't going to go into all the details with what he had been doing, he'd tell them about what happened to the rest of the Wizarding world.

They had been talking for over and hour and a half when a slightly harassed looking Kingsley came back through, "Right. Well, everything's sorted.I can tell you officially, you are now relieved of any duty of care or protection." Dedalus got to his feet and shook Kingsley's hand enthusiastically, "Why thank you dear man."

"Let's get going Harry." They said their good byes to Dedalus and Hestia and made their way out into the hall. They passed the doorway to the living room from which the Dursleys watched them leave: Vernon glaring, Petunia and Dudley watching them with almost frightened eyes.

"God I feel sorry for Dedalus and Hestia" said Harry when the had arrived outside the Burrow.

"I think they are both just glad to be alive. Though I agree your aunt and uncle are hardly easy to get on with." Kingsley said, once again opening the gate for Harry. "I would come in but I'd better be getting back to the Ministry. Do you want to go with the aurors tomorrow, to move your Aunt and Uncle?" Harry suddenly realised he had a perfectly good excuse. "I wish I could," he began sarcastically, "But it's Christmas Eve tomorrow and Andromeda and her grandson Teddy, uh, Lupin's son are coming round" Kingsley gave a deep laughed as he turned to leave, "Wait, sorry I forgot to ask you earlier, have you heard anything more about Hermione's parents?" Harry asked quickly.

"Ah, I almost forgot, I had word from my team today that they think they may have located the Grangers and are working on undoing their memory charms at St Mungo's as we speak. Let us hope Miss Granger believes in Christmas Miracles." Kingsley said kindly, "For the record Harry, I think the three of you have coped with everything that has happened to you with amazing strength. You and Mr Weasley will make excellent Aurors. Give Molly and Arthur my best." Harry nodded and the Minister disapparated. Kingsley's calm, deep voice made it so easy to believe everything he said.

Harry walked back into the Burrow to find Ron, Hermione and Ginny all sitting round the table finishing their lunch and speaking quietly, Ron was helping himself to another sandwich and Ginny was picking at the cheese leftover on her plate. Harry collapsed into a chair feeling exhausted, "How was it?" Ginny asked, obviously they were back on speaking terms. Harry groaned in response.

"We could all go for a walk after lunch or something? I need to get out of the house" Ron suggested, he reached out to take Hermione's hand over the table, but she withdrew it quickly, "Sorry, but I'm reading a book." The three of them looked at Hermione slightly confused at her abrupt response, and she scurried away up the stairs, unable to meet their eyes.

"What on earth was that about?" Harry asked and Ron looked equally bemused.

"Has Hermione spoken to either of you about her appointment yesterday?" Ginny asked tentatively.

"No, why?" replied Ron, Ginny stared at the mug in her hands for a moment then shook her head slightly, "Nothing, maybe she just doesn't like you anymore Ron." Harry was sure she had meant it as a joke, but it had fallen flat. "Sorry, she said she'd tell you about it." Ginny said in a kinder tone.

There was silence for a moment before Ginny asked, "Has she let you do it before? Hold her hand I mean."

Ron thought about it for a second, "Yeah, I mean, we even kissed the night of the battle. But since then she's only let me hold her hand once and only for a second. It was like she realised what she was doing and pulled away. I'm sure she avoided me when you came back for Percy's wedding."

"She's definitely gone off you." Said Ginny smirking.

"It's not funny Gin, there's something wrong." Said Ron looking at his sister seriously.

"I know, I know," Said Ginny, "I care about her too. I'll talk to her tonight."

"No." said Ron getting to his feet, "I will."

Harry and Ginny watched Ron leave and looked at each other, just as Percy entered the room with his wife, Audrey. Harry had only met her once, at their wedding in September, she had seemed nice enough, Ginny reckoned she was good for Percy anyway. Audrey was tall and quite slim with mousey brown hair, she had soft features and a kind face and although she didn't dress very well, she was neat and well presented.

"Not interrupting anything are we?" Percy scoffed slightly and Audrey gave him a look as Ginny rolled her eyes. "Sorry. Uh, good to see you again Harry, Auror training not to strenuous?" Percy tried again, Harry chuckled, some things never really change.

"It's going really well thanks, but we've got to go and check on Hermione," he said, standing up and gesturing to Ginny who got to her feet rather quickly, "Nice to see you again Audrey."

"Oh Percy" Ginny laughed as they climbed up the stairs, "I wish he wasn't so pompous but then he wouldn't be Percy if he was." She sighed as they continued up the stairs towards her room, "I'm really glad the war is over, I really am. But it doesn't feel like it." Harry squeezed her hand quickly before letting go, "I know. But it'll get better, I promise."

* * *

Upstairs Ron searched his room frantically looking for his rucksack, he found it under his bed and pulled it out banging his head on the metal frame. Cursing loudly, Ron opened the bag and grabbed what he had been looking for before rushing out of the room, kicking Warwick Bowyer's book on Vigilance out of the way as he went. He hurried down the stairs and stopped outside Ginny's bedroom door. After taking a few deep breaths, Ron knocked lightly on the door. "Come in." came Hermione's voice and Ron pushed the door open tentatively.

"Oh," she looked flustered at Ron's appearance, "I'm sorry Ron, but it's N.E. year and I really need to read this book. We've missed out on a whole year of education and it simp-"

"Hermione..." Ron interrupted coming into the room and sitting on the edge of the camp bed.

"What's going on?" Hermione didn't answer, instead she looked down at the book in her hands.

"Don't you like me?" Hermione looked up shocked,

"Of course I do Ron!" her eyes searched his face, wanting to make sure he understood, "I do very, very much. It's just..." Ron watched her play with her hands as she tried to think of something to say.

"I'm a mudblood Ron, you deserve better than me." she whispered in a rush, blinking hard trying to keep the tears at bay. They cascaded down over her cheeks and Ron looked shocked, he moved to put and arm around her but she flinched away.

"Hermione, don't ever call yourself that again."

"It's true though isn't it?" As she spoke, Ron noticed one hand was gripping her left arm very tightly. He took hold of her arm gently, rolled up the sleeve revealing the white scars Bellatrix had left.

"It's not true. These scars don't mean anything. 'Blood status' doesn't mean anything Hermione, you should know that."

"I keep hearing her words. At night, its like she's here, in this room." Hermione's eyes traveled around the room lingering on any dark corners. "I know she's not but it feels like she is. And when we were fighting at the end of the battle, she was after me. She said the world would be better off without me and she was too powerful and I couldn't fight her off and if it hadn't been for Ginny or Luna and I can't let you touch me...and..." Hermione had been talking faster and faster until tears overwhelmed her.

"Hey, Hey...shhhhh" Ron let go of her arm and tried to put his arm round her again, but once again she flinched and pulled away

"She's gone now Hermione, you have to leave it behind."

"But I... I can't"

"Hermione Granger, what that woman did to you was unspeakable. But you're safe now, you're never going to be in danger again because I'm here to look after you, and so is Harry, and so is Ginny. I'm not too good for you, you're too good for me." as he spoke he looked up at Harry and Ginny who stood in the doorway and nodded solemnly on reply, Ron paused and took something out from behind him, "I have something of yours." Ron reached behind him and pulled out a woollen scarf which he wrapped around Hermione's neck to hide the thin scar. She gasped and hiccuped slightly as she looked down at it. "It's the scarf I left tied to a tree incase you came back, before we disapparated." Ron nodded. "I kept it safe."

Hermione looked at it for a moment before taking it off. "Don't you want it?" Ron asked concerned. "No, its not that." began Hermione looking down at the scarf she held in her lap, "It's just, it reminds me... can't you keep it safe for me?"

"Sure." said Ron.

Hermione let tears overcome her again as she tried to look up at Ron and the other two came into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed with her, Ginny taking one of her hands in her own.

"I'm sorry, for being such a... a crybaby." Hermione stuttered as she tried once again to compose herself.

"Don't worry about it, everyone needs a good blubber now and then." Hermione giggled and wiped her eyes.

"Here," said Ginny, pulling a handkerchief from her pocket, "magic hankie."

* * *

Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading this far! I would really appreciate some reviews so I know what you're thinking!


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